Both of my kids are going on missions. Both enter their mission on the same day, Sept. 28, 2011. I'm struggling. My feelings are all over the place. I feel that I have lost them.

Honestly, I haven't lost them, but, there isn't any connection. I wonder if this is how my parents felt when I was so involved in this institution. When I finally stopped going to church they were so happy and so was I. My worldview changed, I could relate to them, it was a real relationship. Thank god!! Some years later my mother died of lymphoma.

I have to go to their farewell. It will be difficult listening to that bullshit. I haven't been a mormon church for sometime. I will feel out of place. I have such ill feelings towards that church. But, I will try to put those feelings aside for my kids. I think I would prefer to be invisible while I'm there.

The church isn't true! It isn't what it claims to be! They lie! They coverup! All for THEIR TRUTH, THEIR INSTITUTION.

I hope they find their way out, and, when they do I'll be here!